When I was a teenager, and hormonal, I wrote endlessly about love and all the involved permutations. But I knew I was young and hormonal and who wants to read the same gaff every teen goes on about? Now I’m in that perfect spot – neither youthful hormones, nor at the sunset of youth (relatively), nor pregnant lady hormones. I feel like I can write about the heady memories of first kisses without a bias 😉
There is nothing more intoxicating than the anticipation of your very very first kiss. There’s nothing to compare it to. From those more experienced at school, the most graphic example Sally gave was ‘it’s like licking a plate’. I think the visual was captivating enough, irrespective of it’s relevance to the actual act.
When I FINALLY (or so it would seem) had my first kiss at 16, it was at a school dance. I remember the sore hips from a night of swaying back and forth on the same spot. I was delighted to be told that ‘it looked like the movies’ when Fran reminisced about my first kiss. Cause if it looked right to an outsider, I mustn’t be doing anything too wrong, right?
Alas, this kiss was unexpected, a function of luck. The best kisses are the ones you’ve imagined in every possible combination in your head. Every moment, in freeze frame motion. And that started LONG before I was actually first kissed. I remember spending my first year in high school speculating ways I could ‘run into’ the neighbour up the street. It couldn’t have been more frustrating to NEVER have him on my train home – how could us two commuters never find our paths met? (Mostly cause he went to school for an hour less a day, and my school was twice as far away!) Nonetheless, almost every day I spent 50c on a roll of lifesavers, so should I see him, I’d have something to offer. A way to nonchalantly strike up conversation.
After my first kiss, but whilst still in high school, I developed a crush. With it, I created this alternative reality, this happily ever after. It all pivoted on that first kiss. When the time finally came to steal a kiss, it was lack luster. he smelt… like he’s clothes hadn’t dried properly. There’s nothing I detest more than that musty smell. It failed to live up to the hype in my head. (Interestingly, I was told many years after this that I was ‘the one that got away’. Since then, he’s happily married, so I think all’s well on that front!)
At university, it took about at least a year to get over the awkwardness that comes from eight years in a girls boarding school and into an environment of 95% guys. I spent a long time expecting someone to rib me for talking to guys, that I might have an ulterior motive, that I was ‘in lurve’. I also slowly got out of thinking every interaction needed to be working towards ‘a boyfriend’. Let’s face it, in boarding school you had to maximise you chances, which were so few and far between.
Let it be known that I’ve had more crushes than hot dinners, so it will come as no surprise that this thrill of imagining the first kiss is a well worn path in my sub conscious. I remember developing a firm interest in a friend in one particular class. I think it’s the only time that the reality far exceeded my imaginings! All the mystery he’d developed seemed to continue despite our first kiss. I can only assume I wasn’t as skillful (?) as that ship sailed. Our romance dissolved and we continued to study together with no malice. Well not much 😉
First kisses. There’s so many unknowns. It’s often the gateway to physical touch. Will it be breathless and heady? Will it fall flat to all the hype in your head? Will it come when you least expect it and leave you floored? To me, there’s so much mystery in a kiss. A mystery in why humankind do this – and why we found this ritual so intoxicating. As my little brother mistook it as a child ‘why are they biting each others’ lips?’. Well, that’s a very good question… One I just can’t quite answer!
I had my first kiss at 16 too (in my parents' garage though – not quite the ambiance I dreamed of). I was worried about being good at it but the boy I kissed first stuck around for a while so I got a good amount of practice in 😉
And I usually write something about kissing often when asked to give marriage advice in a wedding guestbook or similar. A nice make out session can do wonders!
I think the parents' garage is probably a pretty common place – privacy without sirens for parents (like a bedroom could be!)
Glad to hear you practiced a bit – my first BF lasted 18 months (only this current BF has eclipsed that record) and we did a LOT of kissing. Cause that's all we did. Bless, we were innocent high schoolers!
What a sweet comment for wedding guest books, I'll have to keep that in mind!
What is the first kiss that counts? Technically my first kisses were when playing "Spin the Bottle" when I was 12, but I consider my first real one to be when I was "going with" a neighbourhood boy (for a week!) when I was 13. I spent the rest of my teen years merrily snogging. I lived in hope of finding that perfect kiss which was not too dry and chaste, and not too slobbery and eager.
In retrospect I am glad I got in lots of kissing and hand-holding and slow dancing and cuddling when I was quite young (with boys near my own age). It gave me confidence and it was just fun! One friend of mine had a daughter who didn't date until age 19 and she immediately had to make adult sexual decisions, with no youthful "practice."
So yep, kissing, I am a fan!
Well it sounds you are in a vastly more experienced youngster at the kissing stakes!! So I don't know what would count 😉 But as a teenager, I would have spent hours and days dissecting if it counts or not :p I'm glad you were also given enough of a leash without any overbearing-ness, so have good teenage fun!
I'm impressed that you got so much practice in, I was SO self conscious, and probably still am! I was SO embarrassed by my first kiss with the BF was in public, on a corner with traffic waiting at the lights, with their headlights on. AWKWARD! The second one (I think) was in a carpark, at least a little more private o_O!
What a sweet post! I remember the setting up of "accidental" meetings on crushes, no less strong for going to a co-ed school.
No first kisses for me, but passion and surprises can still happen in a long standing relationship.
Oh bless – I'm glad that accidental meetings aren't some sort of neurotic thing of mine!
I'm glad to hear there's passion and surprises in long standing relationships 😉
Very evocative writing! It's amazing in the hurly-burly of parenting, working, paying down debt, dealing with your own older parents etc. you can almost forget that phase of life. Good to have a reminder of happy times ~ being young again!
Thank you – it is a lovely memory, and it was as joyous to write!
What a sweet post Sarah. And you have a MUCH better memory that I did. My first couple of first kisses were such a mess I have blocked them from my psyche. I tended to overshoot a bit in my crushes and the vast majority never amounted to much. I do remember my first kiss with my now husband of 37 years and even then I wasn't really impressed. (don't tell him because NOW he is a very good kisser!) He had a mustache which I've never much liked and now that it's gone I'm happy. Thanks for the memories! ~Kathy
So king, thanks Kathy. I'm decidedly younger than you are – so that might have something to do with the clearer memories… And I've never been a big drinker too.
Oh, there were most certainly overshoots on my crushes, those who know me the best (ie NOT my family!!) know how quickly I develop a crush, and then it subsides!
Practice makes perfect, so I'm very pleased to hear you've perfected your husband's kissing style to match yours.